El downside de ser squibb

He nodded, a warm smile on her lips as his eyes remained fixed on hers.

"That's probably true." Matt admitted with a chuckle. He was emotionally detached from people, especially those trying to force closeness out of him.

"You can always count on her to be brutally honest." He thought out loud. It was one of the things he loved the most about Tess. She always spoke her mind so you could trust her. If something bothered her, she talked about it rather than plotting behind your back to get revenge. In many ways, he admired her bravery, as he was usually unable to do such things. 

"Sure." Matt nodded resuming their walk. 

"So, how are things with Tarja and the rest of your new friends?" He asked casually, hoping for some innocent small talk.

"I don't think that's a virtue, but it does come handy sometimes." Fanny said being brutally honest herself. "Tact is of utter importance in society. Although having someone you can trust like that has its perks. It must come with its share of uncomfortable truths." She thought out loud. "But what do I know? I only know her superficially. She treats me like a child, would never trust me with anything important to her." That bothered Fanny quite a lot through the years, but she had eventually gotten used to the fact that it wouldn't change.

Fanny welcomed the change of subject and went on talking about her newly founded underdog society that she and Tarja had put together with Miss McFarland. They were in front of Dalton Manor before she knew it.

She stepped out of the vehicle and stared at the old family house for quite a long time. Then let out a sigh.

"This place hasn't changed one bit." she said to herself.

Matt smiled, amused. "I know just what you mean. And yes, it is uncomfortable sometimes, but knowing someone won't plot against you if something bothers her is refreshing. We all must have at least one person we can trust like that in our lives. Awkwardness is a small price to pay to have someone objectively warn you when something bad is about to happen to you or you're making a mistake." He pointed out. 

"Would you really like to burden yourself with the minutiae of her everyday drama?" He asked Steph.

He got out of the vehicle himself and stood beside her, a proud smile on his lips. 

"I've tried my best to keep it looking like this. Thought you'd find that as comforting as I do." He admitted.

"Not that you ever take heed of her advice anyway." She teased. "But I do see why it would be beneficial for anyone else to be her friend."

"As a matter of fact, I would. It is nice to know people need you, you know? Makes you feel useful, wanted." She didn't expect him to understand that, of course, but, for her, it made all the sense in the world.

"You've done an excellent job. It looks at its best." She said glowing with happiness. That place held so much of her past. She had been happy there. She had grown up and fallen in love and been loved both by her father and her suitor (Matt).

"Do you mind going for a ride first? We can always lit a lamp at the library, but there's only so many sunlight hours outdoors."

Matt let out a mea culpa laugh. "You're incisive today." He pointed out lightly.

"I'm sure it's only a matter of time until Tess realizes what a capable woman you are and starts trusting your good judgement." He said nonchalantly.

"Thanks. I'm glad you approve."

Matt looked at her up and down, an amused smile on his lips. 

"Wouldn't you rather go inside and change into something more comfortable? Your nightgown might get ruined." He said smugly, barely holding back a chuckle.

"Me?" She asked with fake innocence. "I'm just being playful, Mr. Rogers." She joked.

Fanny wasn't convinced. "I really doubt it, but I've come to terms with the fact that she might never see me like an adult, no matter how capable I become."

Fanny gasped deliberately, a playful smile on her lips. "I...!" She began with fake indignation. "Look who's being incisive now? Like I had a choice in what to wear today!"

"Yeah, sure. You're just being playful, all right." He said in a sarcastic tone, still smiling.

"I'd rather not get caught between you two." He said honestly, but using a pleasant tone in hopes she wouldn't take it as an affront. "It'd be nice if you could be friends, but if it can't be then I'll accept it."

He let out his chuckle when she accused him. "Fair enough." He conceded. "You do have a choice now, though. There's at least half a dozen riding outfits for you to choose from upstairs. And you could put your flower in water as well." He suggested.

She beamed at him, thoroughly enjoying the teasing and playing.

"I know. Wherever Tess is involved your objectivity jumps right off the window." She said a little resentful, but not extremely so. She just found it unfair and annoying that he would be so biased towards both his mother and his best friend, who wasn't as perfect as he made her out to be, at least, where she was concerned. And condescension wasn't something Fanny particularly appreciated.

Fanny let out a carefree laugh. It was so easy to forget their past when they were bantering like that, same way they used to when they were young and in love. 

"All right, all right, you have a point. I'll go up and change. But if I get distracted with the dresses and forget to come back down it'll be your fault!" She warned him as a joke. Then disappeared inside the mansion, still laughing joyfully.

As expected, her old room was full of tender memories that competed for Fanny's attention. She felt tempted to spend half the night looking at those old dresses and reminiscing, but she also wanted to visit her father's grave. With that in mind, she picked the first riding suit that she could find and promised herself to come back up later to look at the rest of her old possessions.

She returned to the entrance fifteen minutes later, in a green riding suit and a matching hooded cloak, as the afternoon was getting chillier by the minute.

He beamed back, as happily enjoying the moment as she was. This was what he craved the most, the kind of intimacy that only the two of them shared. He could truly let go of all pretenses and be himself in her presence, and that was refreshing and comforting. It made him feel at home, truly accepted and loved for who he was. Steph had been the only person to do that so thoroughly and freely, without expecting anything in return. Not even his mother's affections had been so uninterested. And, why would his ex have an ulterior motive when she had always been the one with the fortune.

"Well, I had to have SOME flaw, right?" He teased in an attempt to lighten up the mood. 

He chuckled. "If you don't come back in half an hour I'll send an expedition." He promised humorously. Sharing those moments with her were priceless to him. Matt couldn't remember when the last time he had felt so happy was. It was hard to believe that he had been so close to jumping off the astronomy tower just a few weeks earlier. Now he felt hopeful for a future he had always dreamed of.

While Steph was upstaires, Matt went down to the kitchens to greet Mrs. Kahn and her grandson Sawyer. He was brought up to date on the Manor matters and instructed the woman to lit up the library by the time they came back from their ride, along with what to make for dinner. When every detail had been addressed, he went back upstairs to the ground level and waited for his ex by the door. 

He smiled when she came down the stairs, following her with his gaze like a lovestruck teenager. "Ready?" He said gallantly offering his arm, while his brain kept on commenting on just how breath taking she looked in that riding dress. He ached to comment on her appearance, but considered it best to refrain for the time being. They had just recovered the relaxed atmosphere after a long, strained conversation on their relationship. It was better not to test his luck now that it had ended on a favorable note. Diner would be enough of a stretch on that regard, he thought, better play it cool during the ride. Fun and relaxing was what he was going for. 

He escorted her out towards the stables.

"You are incorrigible!" She said rolling her eyes at him. She wanted to be mad, but he was so thoroughly charming sometimes... and it was true that he had to be allowed to have some flaws. There were much worse flaws to have as far as she was concerned.

"Please do!" Fanny laughed and disappeared upstairs, her hand on the staircase's railways trembling ever so softly due to the emotions being back at her childhood home stirred within.

Her eyes had been fixed on his while she climbed down the stairs in a slow, deliberate sway that uptown women have mastered centuries ago. Her smile was radiant, conspiratorial and she took his arm gracefully once on the main floor, then nodded before following him outside.

The sun was still in the sky. It would probably remain there for another couple of hours before dusk. For a short while, everything was perfect and she didn't have a care in the world. She had decide to make the most of that visit and try her best to enjoy every second. Then she'll see what to do with her problems once reality demanded she acknowledge its existence once again.

They discussed the horses and some breeding and property value issues on their way to the stables.

Matt dismissed the stable boy and readied the horses himself while they talked shop. There were quite a few matters where he wanted to get her opinion. After all, she might have been a woman and a mentally ill one, but she was still her father's daughter and he had instructed her in the way business should be done and how to keep the Manor's estate up and running. 

He had prepared his first and then urged Steph to close her eyes while he brought Duchess around for her to see. She was a fine, expensive horse that would have made any enthusiastic proud. Her breeding was impeccable, even more so than her mother's. He put the reins in Steph's hands and softly asked her to open her eyes by whispering in her ear.

Fanny felt honored to have her opinion and memory of her father's ways consulted by him. It was the way they used to run business back when they were married, but he was now her tutor and had no reason to ask for her opinion. She knew it wasn't just a deference. Matt had always truly valued her opinion as far as she could tell. But the fact that he still did in spite of everything... after all the wrong choices she had made regarding her own life, it was heart warming.

She answered within the best of her ability. She wasn't as creative as Jenna but more on the conservative side, but her judgment could usually be trusted to be fail proof and low risk, even if that meant less profit in the event of success. It was the way her father had done business and she liked to play it safe as well. Matt had been hired to be the one assessing chances and taking risks. That's why they made such a great team. She could warn him of all the possible mishaps of his suggested course of action.

Fanny admired Matt's horse, who was still quite the looker at its advanced age and then closed her eyes thrilled at the idea of a surprise. She shivered at the feeling of Matt's breath on her ear, but the sight in front of her when she opened her eyes made her forget all about him. It was as if her old mare Galatea had never aged. Duchess looked so much like her it was true that one could easily confuse the two of them.

She gasped audibly, eyes wide in awe as she approached the animal with reverence. "She is... perfect." She whispered in a worshiping tone, offering the animal a sweet treat to get its attention. She seemed happy to get it and not the least shy. "This must be the most magnificent horse I have seen in my life." She breathed. "Who was her father?"

Matt beamed proudly at the sight that was Steph so transfixed by the horse he had taken painstaking care of. 

"Glad you find her of your liking." He said humbly, still grinning full of himself. 

"I don't know. It was your father's doing. I could check the records if you want." He offered in a more normal fashion before getting on his own horse Apollo.

Fanny took no notice of Matt, her undivided attention was held by Duchess.

"Dad...?" She snapped out of it, eyes still wide in wonder. "Please do." She said with a small nostalgic smile at the thought of her father giving her a gift from the grave. "There's no hurry, though." She ran a hand through the horse's neck tentatively but the animal didn't seem to mind the attention. Duchess was a very polite mare.

"Think she'll mind?" Fanny asked resting her left hand on the expensive saddle.

He nodded, a warm smile on his lips. "I think he intended this to be a birthday present, as Galatea was getting too old. He had had her eggs frozen years earlier. If that's not genius, then I don't know what is." He said with deep respect and admiration towards his deceased mentor. He nodded again when the records were brought up. 

"Not at all. She's very docile. Need help?" He asked out of politeness, as he had no question about her ability as a rider.

Fanny shook her head. "I can manage, thanks." She said before jumping on the horse gracefully. The next moment, her legs were hooked in the side saddle and she seemed ready to go.

She maneuvered the horse a little bit to see if it was receptive to her commands and then took her out of the stables with little effort. Once outside, something wild possessed her, perhaps the part of herself that was innocent and longed to be free and unrestrained, and she brought the animal slowly up to a trot without even remembering Matt was there. The wind on her face was a blissful feeling nothing could compare with.

She laughed in elation and urged Duchess to go faster. "I feel like running like the wind, think you can keep up!?" She yelled at Matt, without turning to see if he was there. She could locate him with her sense of hearing.

He let Steph go out first and then followed her closely, keeping Apollo to her right so he could admire the amazon his ex wife transformed into whenever she got on a horse. As expected, the woman went wild with the feeling of power and freedom that came with riding and he enjoyed the view making his own ride keep up with hers. The expression on her face was priceless for him and he could see clearly that the world around Steph had disappeared to her, along with any troubles that might have afflicted her until a few minutes earlier. He loved to see her like this, carefree and full of joy. It was all her ever wanted for her. 

Then she remembered he was there. The proposition didin't surprise Matt. It was a common occurrence between the two of them when horses were involved and he rather enjoyed her taking a leading role for a change... as long as it wasn't a permanent one. He was only a couple of yards behind her when she so addressed him. He laughed at the challenge, together with the thrill of being there with her, in such a familiar situation. He knew she wouldn't have shown that side of herself to just anyone, the same way he wouldn't have apologized to anyone else about having slept with someone else while they weren't even together and he believed her dead. 

"Go ahead, give it a try, if you dare." He taunted and spurred Apollo.

Fanny laughed as well. "Be warned: I'll make you eat dirt, Mr. Rogers." She taunted back and then spurred her own horse into a gallop.

((Tiro un dado a ver quién llega primero))

El miembro 'Stephanie Dalton' ha efectuado la acción siguiente: Lanzada de dados

---

'10 Caras' :

((Matt seguro la deja ganar, pero si querés, tiro))

He kept up with her most of the ride, sometimes passing her a little, sometimes staying a couple of yards behind. It was great fun, the thrill of the chase. He really didn't care who won. Not even his huge ego was blind to the fact that she would probably be in a much more receptive mood if she won the race. Hurt the pride as it may, the most important thing for him right then was to win her over again. Everything else came second. Besides, he had never had any trouble figuring out his priorities where she was concerned. Steph always came first.

El miembro 'Matthew Rogers' ha efectuado la acción siguiente: Lanzada de dados

---

'10 Caras' :

Steph got first to the family mausoleum on the edge of the property and had Duchess take a couple of turns around the building to slow down before rider and beast could come to a stop. All the while she was laughing like a maniac. When Matt came closer, she turned to him with a triumphal smile. "Not too shabby if I say so myself." She gloated.

Then, Steph unmounted in a swift movement and tied the reins to the black iron fence around the stone building. Her breathing was still uneven and her hair undone, but she looked flustered and the happiest anyone would have seen her in years. She walked randomly near the building for a while, trying to even her breathing. There was a huge smile on her face that refused to go away.

Matt had been too distracted admiring his ex wife to put on a real effort to win, with the result that he came in second by a big difference without even letting her win. However, she looked so happy he didn't regret it for a second. He didn't remember when the last time Steph had looked so pleased was. Probably when Jade said her first word or something. He felt transported to better times and would have married her back in a wink if there had been a church rather than a mausoleum in front of them. 

"That was impressive." He agreed, beaming at her. "Have you been practicing in secret, or what?" 

He eventually got off his own horse and tied it next to Duchess. Then followed Steph around, watching her with a grin on his face. 

"I don't remember the last time I've seen you this happy." He pointed out. It really suits you. We definitely have to go for a ride more often." He insisted.

Under other circumstances, she might have sassed him about her riding inside the castle when everyone was asleep, but none of that mattered anymore. She just beamed and shook her head, full of pride.

"I just..." She began, but there were no words to describe what she felt, what have overcome her a while ago. "I don't know. I just let go and was completely fearless. I wasn't thinking of anything, just feeling, acting on impulse..." She tried to explain, her eyes darting from one place to the next, as restless as her racing heart. "It was marvelous!"

"Me neither." She admitted calming down a bit as her breathing evened out. "I'd love that." She said petting Duchess affectionately.

Matt beamed back at her, sharing her enthusiasm. "Oh, yes. Allowing you to be yourself for a while, without restrains or rules is a wonderful feeling... Freedom..." It was probably not something Steph was used to considering all the restrictions she applied on herself on top of those imposed by society. "It's the most wonderful feeling." He simply said. 

"So would I. I'll arrange it." Matt promised.

"Want to get in for a while, say hi?" He nodded towards the mausoleum.

Fanny nodded, her eyes sparkling with the thrill of adrenaline.

She smiled at him, her face full of gratitude and complicity.

Fanny doubted for a moment. "I don't know." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I think I don't need to after all." She feared going inside might bring her back down. "I haven't even brought flowers with me, or particularly good news to share." She excused herself, fidgeting.

Matt smiled back at Steph. 

He was surprised by her change of heart. She was anything but fickle, but he could easily guess why someone wouldn't want to go into a place full of death after such an adrenaline high. Her change of attitude sobered him down. 

"That's all right. You don't have to. He'd understand." He reassured her, putting a hand on her shoulder with familiarity. "There's always next Saturday." He offered with a smile.

She looked up at him and nodded, smiling back with just a hint of sadness.

"Thanks. You always have the right words to comfort me." She said resting her head on his shoulder briefly, nuzzling his neck with her forehead for a second before walking away from him, distracted by the beautiful garden surrounding them.

"This place is as beautiful as I remember it. Maybe even more so given I haven't been here for a while." She said to herself, or maybe to Duchess and Apollo.

Steph's sudden proximity surprised Matt even more than her unexpected gratitude. He stood very still in fear any sudden movement would make her go away, but she left all the same before he could think of a response, either physical or verbal. He looked at her walk away for a long moment before his body obeyed and followed Steph near the horses again. 

Matt watched her talk to herself in awe of her as she was transfixed by the landscape.

Eventually, she came back to the real world and looked around for Matt. Fanny smiled as she walked to him.

"I've missed this place more than I realized." She admitted calmly, looking at him lovingly for a moment. "I think I'm ready to go inside now." She said next, leaving Matt alone to enter the mausoleum.

He locked eyes with Steph when she turned around, smiling back at her by reflex. His body tensed expectantly when she looked at him that way, which is why he was disconcerted by her statement.

An idea crossed his mind the second she moved to enter the mausoleum. He moved towards her quickly, placing a hand on her upper arm, then wincing as he remembered her bandaged arms. "Sorry." Matt apologized removing his hand at once. 

"Your headstone is still there. I haven't had the time to get it removed." He warned her nervously. Matt knew it would upset anyone to come across such a thing.

Fanny was startled by his touch. She turned around inquisitively and relaxed her face when he removed his hand. "Don't worry. The burns don't go that high up." She explained with a smile.

Her eyes widened in wonder, her curiosity piqued.

"Wonderful! I want to see it." She decreed happily before walking straight into the stone building.

It was square, a few ancient stone coffins on each side of a narrow marble staircase going down into the ground. She carefully descended the steps into a much wider chamber with more marble coffins and passageways leading to smaller chambers. It was very dark, but she navigated the place expertly. She had spent most of her childhood there, talking to her deceased mother and playing among the coffins in the rooms.
They didn't spook her at all. On the contrary, Fanny felt at peace in there, looked after by many generations of her ancestors.

She finally arrived at the chamber she had been looking for. The place was pitch black until she turned on a switch on the wall. The next second everything was bathed by a diffuse light. There were three marble coffins in there, about two foot up the ground each. A perfectly carved marble statues rested on top of each.

Fanny already knew two of them by heart, so the third one drew her attention immediately. It was her own, of course. Her marble self resting over a stone bed as if it were only sleeping. Her beautiful features perfectly reproduced by an expert craftsman. She took a step closer to look at the engraving near the granite pillow.

Matt made a face between shocked, horrified and disgusted at the idea of her doing such a thing, but she had left before he could protest. He felt embarrassed, wanted to stop her before it was too late, but didn't even try. He knew her, Steph had been too determined to be dissuaded. Instead, he followed her inside in silence, turning on the lights on his way down, as he had only been there on a few occasions.

At last he found her where he knew she'd be. Her headstone read:

"I love you, honey.
It's your presence I miss.
And I terribly long
For that one last kiss.

But the greatest pain of all
That hurts me so deep,
Is after giving you my love
I can't have yours to keep.

To have you by my side
Always longing for more,
And have you feel the same,
To mutually adore.

It's selfish, I know
To feel this way,
But it's how I feel
Each and every day

Always hoping and praying
For the next time we meet
For you to allow me, once again
To feel complete.

And when that time comes
I'll be in total bliss,
For no longer will I wait 
For that one last kiss."

Matt felt too embarrassed by the idea of her reading his poem to enter the room, so he lingered by the door way, resting his side on the frame as he nervously watched her.

To her surprise, Fanny found an entire poem instead of an epitaph. She bent over the marble pillow to read it. She heard Matt's footsteps approaching, but her mind was too engaged by the words carved in stone to mind him.

It wasn't until she was done reading it for the third time that she stood straight and turned around to face him with tears in her eyes. She could tell how much he had cared by the care put into that effigy. The quality and properties of the marble chosen, the extreme detail level in the statue, the carefully chosen words in the pillow and the fact that her stone self was wearing her favorite dress. It had all touched her deeply.

Fanny walked to him slowly, in a trance, and put her arms around his shoulders, pulling him in for a tight embrace, so tight it seemed as if her life depended on it. She was crying, but it was hard for her to precise why.

"I wish you had come home earlier that night!" She cried desperately clinging t him. "I wish I had accepted Tessa's invitation to dinner!" She sobbed. "I wish I had waited for you and pleaded it was all in self defense!" Fanny went on. "I would have been freed from prison by now!" She sobbed. "Oh, I wish I had refused to divorce you when I had the chance, Matthew!"

She cried for a long while until her emotions calmed down. Guilt over not telling him that she was alive sooner was washed away together with most of her anger over the things he had done in her absence.

It was obvious the man had missed her dearly. Not just because of his burial choices made shortly after her death, but by the dedication put into caring for her mare, keeping her childhood house looking the way she liked and the fact that all her clothes had been kept in her old bedroom, clean and ready as if she were to return any moment. She just knew what a couple of hours earlier had seemed impossible: she would forgive him.

Matt saw her walk to him, her face transfixed by some emotion he couldn't identify. He also saw the embrace coming and welcomed it, holding her tightly by the waist in return, his other hand holding the back of her head against him. 

Her lithe body trembling against his was like rain after a long drought. He pulled her closer the more she clung to him, afflicted by the same mix of emotions she felt: guilt over his share of sins and wrong doings, sadness over their separation and regret for all the things he wished had done differently. He didn't cry like she did, but felt equally overwhelmed by her feelings. It was as if he had just realized that she was alive for the first time. 

His original realization had been so rational, so logical and their encounter so full of recriminations and blaming that he never had a chance to feel that he had truly recovered her. They had hugged a couple of times and such, but not like this. Never a proper lovers embrace. He let her talk, hushing her from time to time but then her words echoed his own ghosts, the ones hunting him in bed every night after her supposed death and it was too much. The moment Matt felt his own eyes watering a little, he stopped trying to comfort Steph and just held her instead.

"I've missed you so much, my love." Matt whispered when he could trust his own voice again.