El downside de ser squibb

"I've missed you more!" She said into his neck, her body still pressed against his.

Fanny eventually calmed down and loosened her grip on Matt. The episode had drained most of her strength, leaving her mentally and physically exhausted. She rested her head on his shoulder as her hands slid first to his shoulders and then his chest, where she rested them for a long while before looking up at him with eyes full of wonder. What would happen after such a strange moment? It hadn't been awkward, just disconcerting for her to see him as deeply touched as she was.

"That was a beautiful epitaph, Matthew." She whispered in a mellow mood. Then kissed slowly kissed his cheek.

Matt loosened his grip on Steph as well, his hand going from the back of her head to her back, while the other arm still circled his ex's waist. He felt her shift her head and looked down. Her green eyes were looking back at him. He smiled.

"I'm glad you liked it." He whispered back. 

Matt closed his eyes when Steph kissed him and remained like that for a long moment. 

"Must be the first person to get feedback from the interested party." He attempted to joke to break a long silence. It was easier than asking 'what now?'

Fanny chuckled at his joke. "True." She admitted, her right hand softly caressing his chest. She, too, wondered about the elephant in the room, but the moment was too nice to risk another argument just yet. Like a sleepy infant, she pleaded with herself for five more minutes before waking up to reality.

She rested her head on his shoulder again and drew patterns on his chest for another long while.

He rested his head on hers, closed his eyes and enjoyed the proximity he had longed for so long, unwilling to let go unless she did first.

Eventually, her period of grace was over and Fanny needed the reassurance that came with a long talk. She removed her head from his shoulder and looked up at him for a long time, hoping he would say something to save her the trouble.

He didn't. It wasn't a matter of bravery or the lack thereof. He simply didn't feel like talking about things when they were quite enjoying themselves. That had always been her role and not a trait he particularly enjoyed in her. He just looked down on her in the most loving way.

"You love me." She stated. "I don't care what happened with Liz or Miss. Leatherby or whomever. I'm in full use of my faculties and I want you back." She declared before kissing him full in the mouth.

Her statement surprised him, who thought it rather obvious. She sounded very determined to him, but it was hard to believe she would have such a wild change of hearts over an epitaph. Then again, women were strange, and their subtleties often escaped him. 

She kissed him before he could think of something to say. The feeling of her lips on his rendered him unable to think of anything else than for the time being. He held her close to him and deepened the kiss, supporting both their weights by leaning on the frame.

Fanny kissed him for a long time, breaking it off when she felt things were heating up a tad too much in her end. She gave Matt an elated look and a conspiratorial smile, looked over her shoulder at her father's grave and chuckled a bit in embarrassment.

"Let's come back some other time. We should go back to the Manor." She said taking Matt by the hand and guiding him through the underground maze turning off the lights on her way out. She had to use most of her willpower to refrain from doing desecrating her fore bearers' graves by acting upon all the ideas that came to mind by being alone in the dark with him.

Eventually, they made it to the horses. The sun was setting and the air was getting colder by the minute, but she seemed happy.

Matt was partially thankful that she had the willpower to break off the kiss before they could no longer care about where they were.

"I'm sorry Mr. Dalton." He said with the same sheepish smile he had used to excuse himself when the man caught him snogging Steph on the front porche late at night. "I'll bring her back safe and sound before curfew." He added with a mix of saddness and affection. He used to tell his mentor this one before taking her out for dinner.

He followed Steph outside, helping her turn off the lights. Once outside, he looked up at the sky, clouds on fire due to the setting sun behind them. The wind was strong and bone chilling, but the Manor wasn't far away.

"It's getting cold. Ride with me. Duchess can follow." He whispered into her ear, hugging her from behind as a particularly strong gust of wind beat down on them.

She chuckled again at his conversation with her father, sadness as present in her laugh as it was on his voice. She knew Matt cared for the man as much as she had, and that it was an homage rather than a joke.

Fanny shivered, but it was hard to tell if it was from the wind or the effect his closeness had on her. She leaned back on Matt and sighed into his ear, wishing to stay like that indefinitely. "Don't let go of me." She begged, though it was unclear if she meant that instant or it was a yes to riding together.

It warmed Matt's heart to hear Steph chuckle at his conversation with her father, but he didn't comment on it. 

Matt found that gesture extremely enticing, but the wind was cold enough to remind him they would be more comfortable indoors. 

"I won't. Ever." He promised before kissing her neck from behind. 

Eventually, le let go of her.

Matt guided her to Apollo and offered a hand to help her up. Then sat behind Steph and set the course for the main house, holding her close the entire ride. The pace was deliberately slow, as he feared she might change her mind once inside and wanted to make the most of her being close to him. 

"I know we've been through the most wretched divorce in human history..." He whispered after a long silence.

"I'll hold you to it." She teased turning her head around to steal a quick kiss. Then went back to look at the clouds.

She took his hand and mounted Apollo, leaning back into Matt's chest again once he was seated behind her. It felt like ages since they had last spent time like that. She felt she had died and gone to heaven.

His words brought her back to reality and made her heart race.

"Oh, it was absolutely dreadful!" She agreed. "And yes, they'll all realize just how insane we both are. But that was due to happen eventually." She said in a joyful tone that made it difficult to know whether she was being serious or joking. "I don't care what everyone thinks. For once, I'm going to be selfish."

"Please do." He was saying when her kiss interrupted him. Not that he minded at all. 

He didn't bother trying to make sense of her words. Having Steph that close and that happy was enough for him, even the kissing was just a plus.

"May I inquire about that sudden selfishness outburst?" He teased, playing with his lips on her earlobe.

Fanny tried to reply and let out a soft moan instead.

"Let's say that if you were to ask a stupid question, like you intended, you'd get an equally stupid answer." She said mellow.

Matt chuckled, pleased at her reaction. 

"I like the sound of that."

"You'll like it even more when you hear my idea to turn the scandal in our advantage." She said proudly.

"Oh? Do tell." He said before kissing her temple, his curiosity piqued.

"Say you were to launch a line of love potions and aphrodisiac droughts... It would be the worst kind of faux pas after such a mediatic divorce, right? Now imagine you have a very secret, very private wedding, the kind reporters always find out about somehow..." She spoke in a low, seductive tone, the movement of the horse rubbing them together rhythmically.

Matt's amused smile turned into a proud grin. 

"You little devil!" He said delighted. "That is absolutely brilliant! They'll think I won you back with magic!"

"With your playboy fame and how adamant I was about getting a divorce, those potions will sell like hotcakes. We might even get back what we so stupidly wasted in lawyers."

"I'm glad you're such a sweet woman, darling. With a brain like that, you'd rule the world if you set your mind to it." He decreed holding her closer. 

They soon arrived at the main house. He got off the horse and offered Steph a hand. Then tied the animals to the fence and opened the door for her. He stole a glance at the grandfather clock in the corner. Things were going better than planned and he was in high spirits.

"Tea will be served at the library in half an hour, if you want to go upstairs and change. Mrs. Kahn can run a warm bath for you as well. Just ring for her. She'll be right up." He informed.

Fanny giggled at the compliment, happy as a schoolgirl in love.

"Ours is the only world I want to rule." She assured him rather sincerely.

She took Matt's hand and got off the horse with little effort, then entered the house in a cheerful mood.

"My! For an improptu trip, you surely know how to organize things to the detail!" She complimented. That kind of order and punctuality was just what her Virgoan OCD craved for. 

"What happened to Mr. Young?" She asked worriedly. "I hope he is still in good health..."

Matt smiled affectionately, though fully conscious that it was best to take it literally. She seemed like the shy little dove in public, letting him reap all the compliments and glory, but he wasn't fooled for a second. It would be useless to deny that she was the one running the show from the shadows, just the way she liked it. His ego had fought it in the beginning, but as long as she allowed him to shin in public, it was all right for her to organize and run his private life, as long as she kept being as efficient as always. 

He felt satisfied to hear her compliment. It had been deliberated, knowing as he did that his ex loved that attention to detail. 

"What can I say, I'm thorough." He complimented himself.

"Oh, he's perfectly fine. If you'd rather have him see you naked, do ring for the old man. I'm sure he'll appreciate the view." He teased.

She still was under the impression that her ex husband was unaware of her unconscious manipulations. At any rate, it kept him happy to take the credit and she knew it was hers, so it was a win-win situation she didn't have an interest in correcting. Were things to turn into a struggle for power, she was sure to crush him and then she'd feel miserable on her own. Definitely not something Fanny wanted for herself.

She shook her head at his cheek, but said nothing, too busy smiling like an idiot to complain.

Her face turned crimson in a matter of seconds.

"Mrs. Kahn seemed like a nice woman. I'm actually looking forward to getting to know her better. Perhaps you could tell me her story over dinner?" She changed subjects politely.

"Oh, but I will go up and change before that. It was rather cold outside and a warm bath sounds heavenly." She admitted more recovered from her embarrassment.

Fanny stole a kiss from Matt before turning to leave. "I'll see you at tea, then." She said in a sensual tone she hadn't used in years. Not even with him, as learning how to raise a young baby while grieving over her father and all the psychotic outbursts that had caused had been terribly stressful.

Matt chuckled at her save. He adored her so much it was hard to believe they were actually interacting normally again. He felt like screaming and jumping and celebrating victory.

"Whatever you wish, dear." He said with a conspiratorial smile. There were many things he would have wanted to discuss over dinner, but if she wanted to hear about old, boring Mrs. Kahn, then he'd oblige in five minutes and then move on to more interesting topics.

He couldn't help picturing Steph naked in a bathtub full of scented bubbles when she mentioned how heavenly it would be. The man had missed her in more than one way and the kiss didn't help him get that very vivid image out of his head. 

Matt watched her climb those stairs hungrily. 

O,, forget "normally". It occurred to him that it had been a ver long time since Steph had acted that way around him. Not since the children were born. Was this a new Steph born of the experience and new perspective of life that came with age, or just what she reverted to when calm enough to prevent those terrible childish episodes from taking over her?

Either way, he went down to the kitchen to check on things and let the stable boy know that the horses needed to be taken back to the stables. Then he went back upstairs to change in the room the late Mr. Dalton had assigned to him long ago, after they had started working together seriously enough to justify Matt having his own room in the Manor, long before he was adopted so he could inherit Mr. Dalton.

Fanny got a thrill at hearing him call her that. Her heart raced as she climbed the stairs with a slow, deliberate pace. Truth was, she felt like running and cheering.

Upstairs, she rang for Mrs. Kahn and took her long warm bath. Fanny would have liked to chat with the old woman, but she seemed to be even shyer than herself, though the blonde had never found talking to the service difficult.

It was nice to be back at home, relishing in the luxury of her own oversized tube and generous collection of natural oils and bubbles. Mrs. Kahn had been generous enough to lit some scented candles for her, to make the experience even more relaxing.

Then Fanny was faced with her wardrobe once again. Wrapped in her fluffy white robe, she took a long look at all her dresses, although the nostalgia she felt earlier that afternoon had been fully erased by the recent events. Now all she saw in them was pretty clothes. It is hard to miss the past when you have your eyes so clearly set in the future. In the end, she decided for a light blue silk dress with golden thread embroideries. She was sure Matt would have preferred the Bordeaux dress he always complimented best of all, but it seemed rather too much for an evening at home. The light blue one, while still quite fancy, made reasonable sense for a special occasion without being over the board.

Mrs. Kahn helped her get dressed efficient and quietly until Fanny couldn't take it anymore. It made her feel lonely to interact with another human being that could very well have been a robot.

"You are awfully quiet tonight, Mrs. Kahn." Fanny said gently as the woman worked her many buttons. "You can talk to me, you know? I won't bite." She added with an encouraging smile.

Mrs. Kahn had been working in silence, fearful like a creature that has been kicked and struck too many times to even dream of stepping out of line again. She was beyond grateful for this chance to lea a dignified life with a job that was paid rather than imposed on her like an obligation as a human slave. Still, the pain had been too great, the emotional wounds too big. Watching her daughter been slaughtered for falling in love made you fear you might end up the same way for talking too much, no matter how nice your new employer. 

She worked Miss Dalton's buttons carefully, expertly, in silence. She had once been the personal maid of Mrs. Russell, back when she was still called by her maiden name. Then, she attended to her older daughters. The woman knew her job very well. 

Miss Dalton's words surprised her, but she hid it well. 

"What do you want me to say, Miss?" She asked politely, meekly. As she should.

"I don't know. Whatever you feel like. The weather, your health, your family." Fanny said with the innocence that was partly her mental condition, part her own gentle personality.

She looked at the old woman kindly, expectant for her to say something.

Mrs. Kahn wasn't used to her employers and their friends speaking to her like that and felt very awkward, although it was clear that the young miss meant well. She had been misled many a times before to just trust people blindly again. 

She got nervous when it became evident that she had to say something. 

"The- The sunset was particularly beautiful today." She said nervously.

Fanny's smile broadened enthusiastically at her small progress.

"It was. Wasn't it?" She said happily. "I grew up here, in this house. Before I got married, my father and I used to sit at the library balcony every day and watch the sun set behind the trees. Matthew joined us sometimes." She reminisced.

"I'm sure he wouldn't object to you enjoying the view since you're here every day and we're not. Matthew mentioned you've got a grandson. He would probably love the view." She said kindly.

Mrs. Khan got too nervous and a button slipped from her hands but she picked it back again and buttoned it efficiently, hoping the Miss hadn't noticed. 

"I- I couldn't, Miss. My place is in the kitchens, with the staff." She said humbly.

Fanny didn't mind the woman's slip, but she was saddened by her negative.

"But this is such a big house and there's no one here most of the time." She lamented. "It is a pity everything it has to offer is being wasted."

"Perhaps you could visit more often, Miss. Master Rogers seems very fond of you." She dared to say finishing the buttoning and walking around Miss Dalton to do her hair.

"One would think, but we've just gotten a divorce." She said with a shadow suddenly cast over her face. What if they couldn't make it work again? What if Matt came to his senses and chose to remain single?

She sat straighter so the woman could work on her hair. By the time she stood behind her, Fanny's face had recomposed into her usual kind smile.